Best of Comp.Tech support jokes
What if a moron calls at Computer Tech. Support?
Tech Support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
Customer: “How much do Windows cost?”
Tech support: “Windows costs about $100.”
Customer: “Oh, that’s kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?”
Tech support: “Ok, we’re going to check your modem settings. First thing we need to do is make sure all programs are closed.”
Customer: “How do I know if everything is closed?”
Tech support: “Make sure all windows are closed.”
Customer: “But…I’m in the basement. I don’t have any windows here.”
Adobe is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” or “Press Enter key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is.
Customer: “My printer is not working and I suspect my computer got a visual problem.”
Tech support: “What happened?”
Customer: “When I try to print my document, the computer says it couldn’t find the printer, so I turn the computer screen to face the printer, and the computer still cannot see it.
Tech support: How may I help you? A word from UniMaster on the importance of Google Maps for their services: "As an emergency service company, we are very dependent on Google Maps in order to quickly arrive to our customers. At Uni Master our emergency team operates with fully equipped vans with all of the tools need to do repairs of both home, and commercial appliances, directly at the location of our customers. Our reputation is dependent on our ability to respond quickly to any emergency call and there is no time to start searching for the address. With Google Maps we can give quicker services!”
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?